Thursday, December 20, 2007

Looking back...

you ask me if i loved the man
unworthey as you say he was
it seems to me i did my friend
without much reason or a good because
and oh my friend how much pain
he inflicted on my heart
without ever looking back
what a devil was that man
what an evil sort of sprite!!!
but was he really all those things?
was he quite as vile as that?
then why is it that i loved him?
sitting here, and looking back...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hands off Facebook

Again as a result of apathy and uncontrolled authoritarianism another site was censored in Syria the famous Facebook. Which is a peaceful social networking site that gathered millions of subscribers all around the world. The reason of censorship is still unknown
When they’ll understand that censorship or banning sites wont stop the people of speaking up their minds!!!! And no matter what they do there’s always a way to access it…who the hell are they fooling??
I demand to take action and protest against the censorship of all sites!

Take your hands off Facebook!!!

Read more on: Decentering Damascus: Syrian against censored Syria

Monday, September 10, 2007

On Love...

I know I've been away from my blog for a while and I hate to see it like that. So deserted . Although I've been in full energy… moved a lot, worked like a mule, seen lots of people, attended many events, but I couldn't manage to put my fingers to type….I've been thinking lately about love…what are the standers for finding the true love of your life???? I actually didn’t find an answer to that question
The quality of true love is highly debated among different people. Some people
Believe true love relies on rules or that it simply does not exist. However, true love is an Unconditional love between two people, when two people love each other for who They are. Not what they have or what they give....

I used to think that once you fall in love. You will only love that person for the rest of you life but it turns out to be a big bully. Time is able to make you forget all about your past love and again you find your self in love…and so on, you love once and twice and trice so I guess there's no stander for being in love once and forever. And you discover new things about love every time you fall in love…unfortunately for me there wasn't no happy endings. We are all in this holy search of love so we experience many kinds of it,,, I admit I hardly can fall in love but once I'm there, there is no turning back for me I fight I sacrifice I give I Cherish I go head over heels.
To me, love is not just a feeling, but it is the way that people treat the ones they care for. People should treat the ones they love so considerately. Love, in my eyes, is making that sacrifice for someone, knowing that it might be regretful sooner or later. Love is how a person makes another person feel when they are in their presence. Many people show or express their love for someone in different ways. No matter what the way is. Love is in the actions that a person makes, not the words that are said to them.

I once read something about three kinds of love…it is manifested in three ways, Eros, Philia and Agape.
The love between 2 persons is Named Eros, the sexual attarction Eros can manifest in 2 ways, the good way: when love between the two grows strong and they became dependent on one another and can't be apart, they build something together and they'll always be happy and satisfied with each other.
The bad way: when each part feels insecure and his freedom is restricted by the other part. Feeling that they sacrifice much. So Then Eros the spirit of love that unites the 2 parts will show the bad side of it.
Eros will not manifest the same to all people and no one can escape Eros everybody need his presence in life, sometimes Eros make us feel Depart from the whole world and isolated in loneliness.

Philia is the love under the form of friendship or brotherhood its what you feel toward other people. When the flame of Eros starts to fade Philia maintain the family united.

Agape is the highest manifestation of love, Agape is total love, love that devour the ones whose living it. Who experience and know Agape will see that nothing in this life is more important than love. This's the love that God feel for his people. Love that can change the history of human kind.

We people won't feel that higher love; but we may experience another form of Agape. Life might sound unfair for some of us but the love that devour can make absolutely anything sound unimportant.
(Agape is the Love that devour)
Luther king said once: that when Jesus said that we must love our enemy he was referring to Agape. Because according to him its impossible to love our enemies who makes us suffer, Agape is higher than love it’s a feeling that can fill every gap in this world.

The other form of Agape that people feel usually is the feeling of Enthusiasm and ecstasy.
Enthusiasm is agape toward an Idea or anything that we went thorough. When we love and believe from our deepest souls in something we feel the strongest and an immense serenity that comes from our pledge that nothing will put off our beliefs. This force makes us take the right decisions at the right time, and when we reach our target we feel amazed by our own power because in a fight for righteousness nothing can stand in our way. We are simply guided by our Enthusiasm.

I wish we all have the ability to be guided by that higher love in life
Now going back to the true love; I think True love is exhilarating, confusing, emotional, exhausting, and full of give and take.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


Your sin has been measured. You have committed many sins, but Pride is the mortal sin that has done you in. Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and learn what it is about you that codemns you to hell.

Pride:Very High

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

errrrrrr...well we all are going to pass by there eventually!!!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

You think you know???

I'm sorry but I've been paralyzed not able to move not able to express my self
not able to think nor to write… So hollow and Intellectually Bankrupt.
After this phase I realized something which is:

we think we know everything about life; we are so sure how to handle it, but in fact we know nothing of it, we are totally ignorant .
For as long as I can remember I have looked for answers and tried to fit all the pieces together in a way that made sense and I could use myself.

And of course you do find answers if you really want to know and it did all start to make sense to me. But none of that really did me that much good.
everything I ever learnt brought me to one conclusion: That every tip, trick, idea, concept and piece of good advice is just one more piece of mind baggage that has to be let go of if we want to know what's Real. Not to know what's real intellectually - but to know it personally - to live it.

Well this conclusion can sound dispiriting. not many of us feel a limitless love inside and outside. We are disparately searching for it , We don't feel as we are the source of inspiration and life itself and capable of working miracles! But what im sure of is that everything in life happens for a reason.

All we can do is to get together and know what's real, how crazy it would be to think we could rediscover life again on our own….dinner parties, hanging out with a friend, exploring new things, a chance encounter with total stranger. An accidental coming together. We are all a part of this oneness of life.
Life that we will never understand 100% because it's so unpredictable. Well maybe it better left that way. And being alive is enough; I guess we are all perfect exactly how we are.

Love your self and love life

Monday, May 21, 2007

Tag Tag...who's there??

Yaser is there with a Tag for me and it goes
Post Ten Pleasures of yours, here you go :

1- staying late in bed in weekends
2- Watching a good movie and getting so emotional about it.
3- Having a good book and don't let go of it till Its finished
4- Eye contact with total strangers I like :p
5- Being around my friends
6- My little girly chit chat with mama
7- First kisses
8- Smell of rain
9- Finding new comments on my blog
10- Having a cigi after a good meal or with a good coffee
11- Driving my car while listening to my music collection
12- Being loved
13- .....

Okay okay I'll stop I know it suppose to be only ten pleasures but the list wont finish at this point :D

yalla i tag everybody

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Mashta Al Helo

So I've been a couple of weeks ago on a road trip for a weekend to Mashta Al Helo.
Got some fresh air into my lungs cleaned my eyes with beautiful views and brain relaxed with meditation
Not really in the mood for writing so am just sharing the few photos I took

En Mraizeh Lake

En Mraizeh from up the mountain

Mashta al helo at sunset

Mashta al Helo
    Mashta Al Helo is a nice, picturesque village amid Helou Mountain. It is located in the region of Tartous. To be more specific is located in the Syrian coastal mountain range. It is approximately 233Km away from Damascus, 68Km from Homs and 45Km from Tartous.
    Mashta Al Helou is one of many tourist villages in the area and is ranked among the best tourist villages in Syria. In Mashta Al Helou there are many tourist services like restaurants, hotels, resorts and swimming-pools. It is distinguished by its mountainous climate, it being: moderate during the summer and cold during the winter. It is known to snow in some winters. Tourists find Mashta Al Helou a summer escape from the heat and enjoy its fresh air. Like much of Syria, Mashta Al Helou is surrounded by glamorous, ancient monuments that are frequented by many. This lies testament to the country's rich architectural history.

    Wednesday, May 16, 2007

    History throughout photographs

    I Got this Photographs through email and i think its worth sharing
    The Syrian University in 1925.
    The Marjeh Square in downtown Damascus before World War I. In 1911, the monument in the middle was erected, and in 1916, Marjeh became a historic landmark when the Ottoman Turks executed 21 Arab nationalists there for defying the Ottoman Empire.
    The Hijaz Railway Station in Damascus during World War I. The station was not build until after 1912 but the Damascus-Medina railroad had been created in 1908. The Hijaz Station has been designed by the Spanish architect Fernando de Aranda, who combined Western and Oriental elements. The building is still considered one of the most beautiful in Syria.
    The Hamidiyyeh Market in Old Damascus in 1890, named after Sultan Abdulhamid II.
    The Rabwa Road in Damascus during the early 1920s.
    The Salhiyyieh Street in downtown Damascus during the Ottoman Era.

    A barber shop in old Damascus. This picture was taken in 1900.
    General Yusuf al-Azma (1883-1920), the Minister of War and Chief-of-Staff under King Faysal in 1918-1920.
    A photograph of an American tourist in Syria in 1870. The American Flag is hoisted over his caravan.
    Syrian coins during the era of King Faysal I (1918-1920).
    The Azm Palace in Damascus, set ablaze by the French air raid on October 18, 1925.

    New 08-2005: Syrian schoolchildren in New York during World War I, in 1914.
    Students rioting at Damascus University in 1925.
    Medical students at Damascus University in the 1920s.
    The Ottoman Army led by pipers marching through Damascus on July 23,1917 as part of the Ottoman-German alliance during World War I.

    A Syrian shop on Washington street in New York City in August 1920. The picture shows the Syrian shop owners selling "maarouk," a local bread usually popular during Ramdan
    to Syrian and American customers.

    Saturday, April 21, 2007

    Few blood drops

    There she stood in a semi dark room with gothic walls and strange drawings…shaking shivering and hesitant. To do or not to do, that is the Question??
    She approached the damned chair with uncertain steps and sat. cold sweat drops on her forehead and shaking fingers. Closed her eyes and aspired hopefulness. She knew once she is there, there's no turning back. inhaled some air and….

      A needle pinch and a few blood drops and there it was her little Diamond standing on her nose :)

      Thursday, April 19, 2007

      The Illusionist

      He builds around you castles in the sun, awesome pictures, rainbows and butterflies
      Fields of roses, rivers of silver, seas of gold and fairytales. things you would never dream about. Ever lasting love, immortality, passion, romance, wealth and lust,
      He appears and insults expectations with the words you intended for praise and arouses unspoken suspicions
      What is worse is that, you get pursuit by the illusions while you’re assuming that you created it, it holds a view contradictory: little sweet voices blooming, it’s insisting that it captured you. so damn insisting plagued in mind and soul.

      Weak up its only illusions!!! But whom am I fooling?

      My sweet liar
      My beautiful lie.

      Sunday, April 08, 2007

      A movie talk...

      No no no I won't be talking about 300 the epic everybody's talking about and I really don't know the reason of the big fuss it made I mean yea I've seen it and yea the direction of the movie was great but that’s it for me,,,no other comments on it…

      Yea I always crave for the sweet romantic movies as any other woman dose…So what?

      The Holiday is a romantic comedy. You know what that means. And if you don't like romantic comedies, don't go and see it. If you do, you will know what to expect. The mushy feelings creeping up on you. All those 'If Only . . .' emotions telling you there is a lovely place somewhere in which people fall in love and everything works out kinda perfect
      I laughed. I cried. I awed. My jaw even dropped a couple of times . This movie is not only about heartbreak and heart ache, it's about finding yourself and appreciating the true things in life.
      Iris (Kate Winslet) is in love with a man who is about to marry another
      woman. Across the globe, Amanda (Cameron Diaz) realizes the man she lives with
      has been unfaithful. Two women who have never met and live 6000 miles apart,
      find themselves in the exact same place. They meet online at a home exchange
      website and impulsively switch homes for the holiday. Iris moves into Amanda's
      L.A. house in sunny California as Amanda arrives in the snow covered English
      countryside. Shortly after arriving at their destinations, both women find the
      last thing either wants or expects: a new romance. Amanda is charmed by Iris'
      handsome brother Graham (Jude Law) and Iris, with inspiration provided by
      legendary screenwriter Arthur, mends her heart when she meets film composer
      Miles( jack black).

      All of the characters are wonderfully developed especially Jude Laws he's a yummy girls
      -the under-story of Jude's character adds an extra dimension to his character and really makes you love him even more.
      Here's some Quotes of the movie:

      Iris: I've found almost everything ever written about love
      to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an
      extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely
      close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose
      I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its
      sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said
      "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite
      inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course
      love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another
      kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its
      called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about
      people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What
      about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the
      one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones,
      the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking
      space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved
      that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life!
      The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears
      and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of
      my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not
      and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat
      thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual

      Amanda: Sex makes everything more
      complicated. Even not having it because the not having it makes it

      Miles: Iris, if you were a melody...
      I used only the good notes.

      Graham: Long distance relationships can
      work, you know.
      Amanda: Really? I can't make one work when I live in the
      same house with someone.

      I do recommend it highly especially For the romantic fool in all of us.
      and for disparate girls This is one of the good movies that shows that there are good guys out there is this world.

      Tuesday, March 20, 2007

      Me siento tan bien

      Te extraño. Parece como si nuestros cuerpos estan mas lejos que los años. Este sentimiento intenso que por ti siento no puede ser apagado por los mares. Tan fuerte es mi ilusion que solo el cerrar mis ojos me lleva a un nuevo sueño donde tus labios y tus ojos son los que mi alma contempla. sabio como me haces sentir tan bien !

      photo by Kin ho

      Sometimes you feel at a very low level with your self that you start hating your self, it has nothing to do with self confidence its just one of those depressing moments. And out of nothing you lay your hand on a fortune. "someone" that lifts you up to the seventh heaven, and maybe you think your self in love but you shouldn't be.
      You are just at the top of feelings like having an multiply orgasm…pampered by the sweetest of words feeling good about your self and your body and feeling that killing sense of being desirable. You are the peak now pumping with femininity and indulged by the sensation….I'm just feeling so damn good

      Friday, March 02, 2007

      One of a kind?!?!

      I don’t want to sound stuck up or arrogant by this…but one day a friend of mine told me I’m one in a million…which really made me wonder am I really one in a million??
      I mean I bet there’s thousands and thousands of others like me…what really makes me so special?
      Well I know my friend told me that as a compliment…but what if I really want to be one in a million? would I sound so egotistic??
      Furthermore What obvious scares me is that what if I’m not being my self and if I’m really my self that doesn’t mean there’s no one else like me …a leak of authenticity maybe?

      Well there might be someone that carries the same thoughts as mine the same characteristics, Someone that likes to do the same things I do. Someone that got the same style as I do.
      So what makes us so special??? How can we be unique if there’s so many people like us?
      To wish to be unique is a universal human property. I think that The very existence of uniqueness is not dependent on the judgment of a group of humans.

      I asked and so many have told me every human being is "special", one of a kind
      But how’ in the world is that???
      In other words, there are numerous characteristics and traits common to two specimen of the same species. On the other hand, there are characteristics and traits, which set them apart. But I am not talking here about characters and traits There must exist a quantitative point where it would be safe to say that there’s no difference between outweighs and similarity, the "Point of Uniqueness", in which all individuals are rendered unique.
      So what’s the whole use of being unique if all others are too??

      More over the worse is being compared to someone!!…I don’t know if it’s right or wrong
      Or maybe its a complex …I don’t really know if I’m making any sense out of this either.


      I added a new mini poll so please be kind and vote on the same topic

      Saturday, February 24, 2007

      I Love

      I love the tiny wrinkles on your face when you smile
      I love to listen to you closely as you speak and enjoy the little funny sounds that you make.
      I love the way you engage your self trying to explain me something.
      I love the sparkle in your eyes so full of love and alive.
      I love that you finally showed me that you cared and sparked our desire to be together.
      I love the way you held my hand providing comfort, and loving indication.

      But what I really tend more to say is …

      I love you

      Thursday, February 15, 2007

      This Day of Love

      You are my heart, my hope, my help,

      The passion that is me,

      The whole of which I am a part,

      My peace, my ecstasy.

      You are my future, present, past,

      My ship, my sail, my ocean,

      The wind that brings me home again,

      The home for every motion.

      You live within me, yet

      I amWithout you all alone.

      With you I am full of light;

      Without you I am stone.

      I think of life as something

      I Can spend with only you.

      I miss you terribly this day of love

      Miss you with a wound that stabs and aches.

      I see the love around me,

      So this day of love come love with me,

      Come be my Valentine, and

      I Will love you my life long, my love,

      Will love you my life long.

      Saturday, February 10, 2007

      One year of blogging

      Hurray my blog is officially one year old, one year ago on the same day I started this blog... Actually it came out unpredictable. I wasn't sure about the main theme of it. Syrian to the bone just popped out of my brain and there it was, I didn't know if someone ever gonna visit it or ever comment on my posts, so I was surprised to have that number of visitors. I know I haven't been an active blogger posting on a daily bases but I think what I posted so far I mean a total of 61 posts are not bad.

      Well my blog is growing older so am I, I guess what you write is getting older too I mean Ithought get old too … aging thoughts turn to full circles errr what is that suppose to mean??!!!

      Anywayzz After a year of blogging, it's natural to think about the aging process. I've been doing so since last year.

      So I decided to take a blogthing test and see what age my heart is and it turns out that im 20 at heart so I guess im just living my age :) well for a 27 year old lady im still at twenties hehe.

      Ehh Happy Anniversary my dear blog.

      You Are 20 Years Old

      Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

      13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

      20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

      30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

      40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

      Thursday, February 01, 2007

      Gimme 5!!

      Yea Five things you don't know about me ....thanks to GrayFox for the tag, well actually i'm not that good in writing about my self but i gave it a try...

      1- I’m kindda suppositious and a sign believer I look for signs every where, and if am not looking for signs, signs looks for me. I encounter strange signs and for each there’s some interpretation for me. If the sign are bad I don’t like to interpret them if they are good I enjoy to interpret them.

      2- I’m a claustrophobic I hate narrow small places and get nervous when I have to take an elevator by my self .

      3- I can be at the top of a dynamical rate and very hyper as I can be so lazy and sluggish.

      4- I’m obsessed with shoes and bags and I love to buy lots of them and even collect them .

      5- I am fascinated by discovering new things new places, trying new emotions, new feelings and meeting new smart intellectual strange people.
      I tag Yaser

      Thursday, January 11, 2007

      Somewhat lonesome

      So I haven’t been updating my blog much lately, probably because I’ve been busy since I’ve start working 2 months ago and also studying for this few exams I have this semester and hopefully it will be my last as well.
      Haven’t been complaining much, the year started well for me family, and financially wise as for personal life I’m not sure yet things have been so mixed up for me and I guess I’ve been going through the stage of being lonesome or maybe feeling lonly

      Some on said “loneliness is the worst of all evils. Unlike hunger, thirst and illness, which force us to take an attitude when they affect us, loneliness is often masked under an aura of virtue and renunciation.”

      But then The worst is feeling alone while you’re surrounded by many people, people you know, people you don’t know, people you care about, people you don’t care about. People you love and people you hate.

      My feeling alone is almost at a close, and I must say that I feel a little split between it being a waste and it feeling like what my soul needed; moments to sit back and take a mental inventory. Time to reflect on my life and bounce ideas off of myself.

      Maybe it is that I miss being in love

      Maybe I miss all of the comfort that it comes with. I miss the small nuances and epic emotions that flood my being. I miss having the certainty that being in love provides. I miss the sanctuary it gives. I miss the holding hands… I’m afraid I’ve grown to fear love and those fishing with it’s utterance. I am afraid that I might never know what being in love again is. Maybe nobody ever really does; or maybe it’s just that love is so different from one person to the next.

      Ahhh lonliness brings such lonesome feelings ...